| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|11:37 am] |
it seems like i never know what to do
i try one thing
and it doesnt work out.
my bad, i'm sorry.
try another and now its changed.
why am i so fucking stupid? |
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| teenager from mars |
[Nov. 19th, 2009|11:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fucked up | ] |
Slowly creeping out, i hope no one notices
everything is piecing itself together
as my haus gets more and more empty
oh wait, i really am moving?
i really am going around the world
and have about 28 days of work left?
ha!
death meditation: if you were going to die later tonight
what would you do today?
(yes it's cliche but it hits so hard)
would i be sitting here typing this entry?
no, of course not
but removing all the unnecessary from your life is the point
to where you really wouldnt mind if you died, cos you'd be doing exactly what you want
This is a mediation from a book i recently just read,
called the diamond cutter by geshe michael roach
i dont feel as if i talk about things or objects but this is something i think everyone breathing should read
it took me a while to pick it up, and only started reading it cos it's not mine
i shied away from the 'business' side of it
what does business and buddhism have to do with each other? nothing.
He uses it as an example only, and brings up alot of great points.
Even if you dont feel spiritual, religious, it's still a great philosophy book and the worst that will happen is you might be a bit more nice to people.
I'm not big on religion but have been feeling pretty hollow, always thinking on the shit side of the fence
"why bother" and "it's pointless"- but why be miserable about it?
Why let it bother you if it all really is pointless?
Just looking on the other side of the fence and just letting it slide.
http://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Cutter-Strategies-Managing-Business/dp/0385497903 |
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| sons of anarchy |
[Oct. 31st, 2009|02:15 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom alone | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  high | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sirens & water | ] |
Shadow functions
Later personality researchers (notably Linda V. Berens) added four additional functions to the descending hierarchy, the so-called "shadow" functions to which the individual is not naturally inclined but which can emerge when the person is under stress. For INFJ these shadow functions are (in order):
Extraverted Intuition (Ne): Ne finds and interprets hidden meanings, using “what if” questions to explore alternatives, allowing multiple possibilities to coexist. This imaginative play weaves together insights and experiences from various sources to form a new whole, which can then become a catalyst to action.
Introverted Feeling (Fi): Fi filters information based on interpretations of worth, forming judgments according to criteria that are often intangible. Fi constantly balances an internal set of values such as harmony and authenticity. Attuned to subtle distinctions, Fi innately senses what is true and what is false in a situation.
Extraverted Thinking (Te): Te organizes and schedules ideas and the environment to ensure the efficient, productive pursuit of objectives. Te seeks logical explanations for actions, events, and conclusions, looking for faulty reasoning and lapses in sequence.
Introverted Sensing (Si): Si collects data in the present moment and compares it with past experiences, a process that sometimes evokes the feelings associated with memory, as if the subject were reliving it. Seeking to protect what is familiar, Si draws upon history to form goals and expectations about what will happen in the future.
***
hardboiling eggs to make a meal?
what is the appeal of 'out' again?
please, remind me.
i think my shadow is the asshole other half in me
looking for the facts i lack in my 'vivid inner life'
i think i need another poncho
just sayin' |
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| I want to sing Wonderwall to someone and mean it |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|01:05 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | you're gonna be the one that saves me | ] |
I've been feeling better lately
i just stopped caring as much
it feels good
riding a motorcycle is not as hard as i expected
it feels pretty good so far
and i cant wait until it feels even better
San Francisco to LA
To Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand
To Amsterdam, Berlin, Paris, Amsterdam
To New York to Boston To Chicago
then to Austin!
By my half birthday i will be living in a different state
the gravity, right? |
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| lonely with someone just alone by myself |
[Oct. 14th, 2009|12:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fake plastic trees-radiohead | ] |
on the walk to work today
today just now
this is turning out to be a lot harder than i thought.
but isnt everything?
fucking lifeeeee
IF
fuck l(i)o(f)ve
oh whatever it doesnt matter
it's the internet it's greetings it's adios
YOU WANTED THIS
and it just reminds me of before
of exactly how i felt
how i'll feel forever
i grow balls and then they want you
you sent me out of your house when i was sick
and it was cold
and speaking of tears freezing on my face
this is stupid and pathetic and i'm never EVER fucking getting myself into something like this
get a backwards reminder tattooed on my fucking forehead
REHTOB T'NOD |
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| da gravity of life |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|11:14 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | eating | ] |
i love being able to read other people's writing
journals i wish i could get my hands on and devour
i was reading some of your writing on your website
and thought there is this whole other side of him
i've never known, and will never know.
i have been caught up in thoughts such as this lately
and find myself struggling to get free
how you think you are so big or important
and it just, everyone EVERYTHING around you
is doing it too
there isnt anything special about it
its happening like it's happenED and WILL happen
Be Here Now?
i am trying to get on a path that will take me there. |
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| Dont tread on me |
[Sep. 17th, 2009|10:57 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | minor threat | ] |
i will fucking destroy if you ever try to fuck with me again.
i dare you.
trust me, i have been holding in alot these days. |
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| hands up if you think you're the only one |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|11:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | fugazi (function is the key) | ] |
goddamnit
i just, dont want to.
i think i'm thinking of the good things now
i hope i never get myself into this shit again
i can see why it happens now
nothing seems to surprise me with age anymore
reminds me of anais nin
"i cried because i could not believe anymore"
so here i go!
buying a moto
moving alone
doing what i want
i hope i dont fuck this up (truly)
i cant rely on a relationship to fill that void
NEVER QUITE SURE |
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| anyone know of a good cave for sale? |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|12:05 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | bedroom alone | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | sleep-dopesmoker | ] |
looks like chukka boots are not in my very near future.
bummer!
ah, the weekend nights alone
done with a bath
beer in the freezer
pizza in the oven
josh says drum lessons via craigs list
no one is working, find someone with a studio
i am serious about this (!)
let's find out
and maybe a 200cc in the nearer future? |
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mxrnxng_bxll's journal
awake